Yesterday I had an audition for some Discovery Channel show called "Facing Trauma." It was early in the morning... which for a bar tender was 1 in the afternoon. Thankfully my friend called me before hand to wake me or I would've forgotten about it. Anyway I rushed to the audition a bit groggy from the previous night out. I had to reenact a scene from real life of a young guy who goes psycho and kills his wife. My job during the audition was to scream and be as violent as possible. Unscripted. In other words I had to go from 0 to 60 quick. I had to get dark. And it was a girl who was auditioning me. She was like " Just curse and say whatever you want." I asked if it was okay not to look at her while during this (as she was off camera anyway). She was so sweet. I couldn't see screaming the things I was about to say directly to her face...
This audition came at the end of a weird week of feeling not grounded. It was as if I didn't quite know what I wanted or needed the whole week. I thought working out would help. I thought sleep would help. I thought being artistic would help. I thought sex would help. I thought walking through the park would help. And then I got to this audition and "let it rip". I just started screaming. Screaming at the top of my lungs. I said awful things. Let the veins in my neck pop. And then the audition was over. And I walked out of the building to a beautiful day. I decided to walk home from midtown to Central Park North.
Along the way I listened to Leona Lewis Collide on repeat. "When your in unfamiliar places, count on me through life's changes." With every step I felt better and better. I think by screaming I released all the built up pressure I put on myself to "be something... "
And that's life I guess. There's gonna be bad days and good days. Weird days and then days of clarity. It's a ride and there is no right or wrong. The best you can do is keep trucking on. Don't stop exploring.
Beacsue sometimes your release comes from something you never would've expected.
This audition came at the end of a weird week of feeling not grounded. It was as if I didn't quite know what I wanted or needed the whole week. I thought working out would help. I thought sleep would help. I thought being artistic would help. I thought sex would help. I thought walking through the park would help. And then I got to this audition and "let it rip". I just started screaming. Screaming at the top of my lungs. I said awful things. Let the veins in my neck pop. And then the audition was over. And I walked out of the building to a beautiful day. I decided to walk home from midtown to Central Park North.
Along the way I listened to Leona Lewis Collide on repeat. "When your in unfamiliar places, count on me through life's changes." With every step I felt better and better. I think by screaming I released all the built up pressure I put on myself to "be something... "
And that's life I guess. There's gonna be bad days and good days. Weird days and then days of clarity. It's a ride and there is no right or wrong. The best you can do is keep trucking on. Don't stop exploring.
Beacsue sometimes your release comes from something you never would've expected.
Did you get the part?
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