I'm back in NYC.
I got back from Long Beach Island on Saturday from what might have been one of the most relaxing vacations I have ever been on. I was even excited to come back to NY, to my home, my friends, even the bar where I work.
That lasted for about a day. It feels as though the rain brought the reality with it... the reality that that euphoric feeling doesn't last forever.
The past 48 hours have been for me a roller coaster of highs and lows.
One of the highs involved my friend introducing me to Wix Lounge.... this place where creative people hang out to work on projects. We went together and called it our "office". It filled me with a sense of purpose and got me out of my apartment in that torrential rain storm we had yesterday. I also had a great work out... which always helps to elevate my moods. This was not the case Monday. Monday I had an awful work out and then got called into work on account of my co worker being sick. This brought with it a cloud that hung thick over my head until I literally rounded the corner two hours prior to work and bumped into an old "friend". By old "friend" I mean some one I have hooked up with before. Therefore I offered to take them to dinner before I started. It was pleasant. The cloud began to dissipate. I thought I was going to get laid. Nope. The Cloud reformed... this time with a banner that read "Loser."
So I let myself feel like a Loser. After all, if no one ever felt like they were losing maybe no one would ever push themselves to win.
I have to work all night tonight but I thought I'd lounge around my apt. since it's so gross outside. I watched one of my favorite movies "Gattaca." The premise is that sometimes you are born with all odds against you and you still win. The inverse is true as well. Sometimes you are born with the odds on your side and you still fail because after all... fate is not something that can be predicted. I find myself today feeling somewhere in the middle: I feel like I am blessed with a healthy number of talents and attributes and yet sometimes the desire for the pursuit is not inside me ... certainly not today at least.
But then again maybe so many of us feel somewhere "in the middle" of it all. Right around ever corner is an "opportunity". Sometimes things don't go the way we plan. That doesn't mean we are in fact losers. Maybe life is like Cable television. My guess is that there's just a better channel that we need to be watching. Looking for a different kind of opportunity. A different kind of happiness.
But to each his own.
I got back from Long Beach Island on Saturday from what might have been one of the most relaxing vacations I have ever been on. I was even excited to come back to NY, to my home, my friends, even the bar where I work.
That lasted for about a day. It feels as though the rain brought the reality with it... the reality that that euphoric feeling doesn't last forever.
The past 48 hours have been for me a roller coaster of highs and lows.
One of the highs involved my friend introducing me to Wix Lounge.... this place where creative people hang out to work on projects. We went together and called it our "office". It filled me with a sense of purpose and got me out of my apartment in that torrential rain storm we had yesterday. I also had a great work out... which always helps to elevate my moods. This was not the case Monday. Monday I had an awful work out and then got called into work on account of my co worker being sick. This brought with it a cloud that hung thick over my head until I literally rounded the corner two hours prior to work and bumped into an old "friend". By old "friend" I mean some one I have hooked up with before. Therefore I offered to take them to dinner before I started. It was pleasant. The cloud began to dissipate. I thought I was going to get laid. Nope. The Cloud reformed... this time with a banner that read "Loser."
So I let myself feel like a Loser. After all, if no one ever felt like they were losing maybe no one would ever push themselves to win.
I have to work all night tonight but I thought I'd lounge around my apt. since it's so gross outside. I watched one of my favorite movies "Gattaca." The premise is that sometimes you are born with all odds against you and you still win. The inverse is true as well. Sometimes you are born with the odds on your side and you still fail because after all... fate is not something that can be predicted. I find myself today feeling somewhere in the middle: I feel like I am blessed with a healthy number of talents and attributes and yet sometimes the desire for the pursuit is not inside me ... certainly not today at least.
But then again maybe so many of us feel somewhere "in the middle" of it all. Right around ever corner is an "opportunity". Sometimes things don't go the way we plan. That doesn't mean we are in fact losers. Maybe life is like Cable television. My guess is that there's just a better channel that we need to be watching. Looking for a different kind of opportunity. A different kind of happiness.
But to each his own.
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