Nerves are good.

At least that's what I'm telling myself.

In under two weeks I am embarking on my biggest music video project to date. I've enlisted help from some of the most talented people I know. I have Will Pailen writing and singing the music that tells the story of "The End of All Things". He is brilliant.  He has come up with a song that is everything I asked it to be! It's really going to help me tell this story... the premise being this: humanity is so overstimulated by technology, the substances that we ingest, that we have evolved into gods. Unfortunately when this happens, the very thing that makes us human (our soul) is lost... and because we have no soul we have no desire for love... and therefore we slowly die off. This video will depict.... the last man and woman. Colleen Katana (this beautiful multitalented friend of mine.... photographer, writer, actress, singer) will be portraying the last god-woman. She will be fierce. I hired a make up artist who I recently worked with on a shoot. Her name is Tiffany Garlick. I liked her style and the make up she did for the ladies on set was off the hook. So I'm sure she's going to break it down! I knew I'd need extra help for this over night shoot. We'll be doing interior shots from midnight on and then we need to shoot exteriors as the sun is rising. So I've hired one of the most capable people I know.... my friend Brian Kalinowski to be my assistant director. I trust him with my first born, if I had a first born.

So I have been lucky enough to gather a team of really amazing people. This places the rest of it up to me. I guess I am so excited that my nerves are creeping up. There's this feeling of "I don't want to let any body down." So I thought I'd be ballsy and say it out in the universe. "I am scared." I feel like I'm onto something big here. I will also say this out into the universe. "I will not run from this fear." I am forking out a lot of time, energy, and money to create this. And why? The answer is simple. I love this. I have found something I love doing. If no one ever sees the videos or likes the videos " I can live with that." Mostly I don't want to let myself down.

So I will put this out into the universe too. I ask what ever is out there to help me suspend my belief in myself. And remind my heart of all the reasons I'll ever need to keep the faith in me. "I do this because I love it. I love the music. I love telling a story. I love the styling. I love the concept of "living art" through video. LOVE. If I hold onto that feeling. I can not fail. I will not fail."